Cry a Little 2

CONFUSED

You refuse to accept
The person I am
But then you won’t explain
What you expect of me.
So what can I do
When I just don’t know
Who I’m supposed to be?
You deny I have any worth
The way that I am
And say I should change
But never tell me how.
You tell me what’s wrong
But seldom what’s right
That now I am lost
In the resulting confusion.

ONCE IS ENOUGH

We try to plan our lives
Far into future days.
We figure this,
And count on that
Hoping dreams come true.
As each day passes
We look ahead
Forgetting what has been.
We count on this
And figure that
As dreams collapse too fast.
We figure once
And count again
As finally we learn
Life is surely long enough
To live each day but once.

OLD TAPES

As a child I heard
Often said of me
Many things I thought true
Repeated so much
I soon believed
Their lies reality.
Then one day (at thirty-five)
Someone pointed out
That my truths were false.
Now I can recall,
If constantly reminded,
Today’s reality.
But when there’s no one
To repeat newfound truths,
The old tapes replay too loud
And soon I hear again,
Playing in my head,
Those old childhood lies.

OUT OF MY CONTROL

I spent many years
Searching through the lies
That those in my past
Said were truly me.
It was not easy
To sift through falsehoods
To find who I was.
The search took long
And was quite painful
As I set aside
All those things I’d heard
Falsely said of me.
And though I now know
Past feelings were wrong,
Many things happen
That I can’t control
And those old feelings surface
To haunt a present
That should be happy.